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[September 26, 2006 12:10pm] i ve said this a million times already and getting sick and tired of this sh*t. sa lahat ng ayoko, yung sinungaling. lalo na yung nagsisnungaling pero nahuhuli naman. magsisinungaling na nga lang, di pa marunong. leche. you're pushing my patience to the limit. do this one more time, di ko na alam sasabihin ko. talo ko pa sirang plaka. pnyeta!

[September 16, 2006 9:02am] i wake up this morning with a funny feeling. i suddenly dont want to go to work. i wake up thinking id have to deal with the same old shit. whats hard is when you can't really get along with your associates because of a small thing which later on becomes a big thing once they spread the news around. whats worse is that they make you look like the bad one when in fact you just did what is right, not knowing that they think otherwise (when they shouldnt). pag makitid ang utak, makitid ang utak. cant do nutthin about it. i dont want to have something more to think about other than work. but what can i do? kasali din yung mga ganong bagay eh. pwede bang wag nalang and not make my work and life more complicated than it already is? lumiliit na ang mundo sa opisina. baka di na ko makahinga. 2

[September 06, 2006 6:04pm] and im back in the game. :) things have been great and i have nothing to rant about. job's okay and its making me happy. and i think that enough for now to make me look forward to coming to work everyday. :)

[August 02, 2006 8:46pm] [ mood | enraged ] OFFICE POLITICS is the worst kind of politics. it will either make or break you. and when it does, it hits you really hard. sino ba naman ako para magreklamo? just go with the flow, i tell myself. and if this doesnt work out, sorry nalang ako.

[July 18, 2006 8:55pm] [ mood | aggravated ] feelings also get tired you know. im tired of pushing myself to the limits.

[May 16, 2006 5:42pm] [ mood | blah ] for the first time in two years, im thisclose to actually telling myself... "i need a break." if things dont work out, [and i hope it does] maybe thats just the thing that i/we need. im still waiting.

[May 09, 2006 9:13pm] [ mood | aggravated ] [ music | jammin' - bob marley ] this is putting my indecisiveness to the test. sometimes, when opportunities are already being thrown at you, you cant seem to have any idea what to choose. you weigh the pros and cons but somehow, you end up choosing the easy way out. but in my case, im having a hard time choosing. im waiting for my follow up interview in MS, when SC texted me for a briefing on the 12th for the interview on the 25th with the execs. kase ganito yan, yung sa MS, hindi ko talaga masyadong gusto yung job. its just that, nahihiya na akong hindi puntahan kase i went to three interviews already, and the only one remaining will determine if i really did get that job. sureshot na nga, pero hindi ko naman gusto. ewan ko kung bakit ako napasubo. yung sa SC, hindi ko talaga gusto but im also one step away nalang. if i compare the two, ill be better off choosing the latter, since ill be able to save up for me to able to pursue what i really want in the first place, study culinary arts. kung salary lang iisipin, SC nalang. tax free pa. in MS, i wont be able to save up in 10 months, it will take me a couple of years before i do dahil ill be thriving on basic salary for 6 months before i get a raise plus the big service charge. lets not be hypocrites here. camparing the span of time, ill be able to study sooner with SC than MS would let me. but then, courtesy comes first. it would be prude and improper if i cancel out the last minute with MS, its just so not me. rawr. if things we're a lot easier and if money was no option, di nalang ako magttrabaho. hay nako. bakit kse ganito sa pilipinas?!

[May 07, 2006 10:16pm] [ mood | cold ] saktong sakto, di pa ko nagddinner, nagdala si ate allen ng pizza!!! heaven!!! list 21 people who are at the top of your head right now, and then answer the questions. 1. Karlo 2. Icay 3. Ate Allen 4. Lizzie 5. Mon 6. Kaela 7. Kar 8. Mar 9. Aly 10. Janis 11. Lanie 12. Nash 13. Fiorelle 14. Stacey 15. Daddy 16. Raeleen 17. Aldo 18. Ged 19. Chino 20. Wedj 21. Lim how did you meet 12? STC, she's a very good friend of mine up to now. we've been friends since high school and we live just two blocks apart. we used to walk to school together. what would you do if you never met 6? then that would mean that my sister never got together with that son of a bitch and got her pregnant. what would you do if 20 and 9 dated? it would be highly unlikely because they don't know each other. at ano yun, hot girl to girl action? sa bagay. it sounds familiar. hahaha. did you ever like 11? i love her to death. also a very good friend would 4 and 13 make a good couple? yeah, and that would make fiorelle a lesbian pedophile because lizzie's only 4 yo. and no, fio's no lesbo. describe 8. she's kar's best friend and she's the smartest person i know who doesn't excert too much effort but still makes it on top. do you think 14 is attractive? of course, she'd kill me if i said no. hahaha. loko lang. tell me something humiliating about 17. just look at him and you'll get your answer. hahaha. joke lang. do you know any of 4's family members? yeah, my whole clan. what's 21's favorite color? green on a scale of 1-10, how hot is 10? kse kung lalaki ako, id say 8. ja has to eat more. hehe. what would you do if 18 confesses he likes you? ask him if he's drunk, where wedj is and what happened to them. hehe what language does 20 speak? nursing language. you know, all those medicines, chemical and stuff. hehe who is 9 going out with? how the hel should i know? what grade is 16 in? 3rd yr coll when's the last time you talked to 13? last friday what is 2's favorite band/singers? iba iba eh, basta rock alternative would you ever date 5? duh, he's my brother would you ever date 1? NO WAY! Ew, ew, ew. Yuck. Haha. what is 19's last name? Martinez what school does 7 go to? Ateneo where does 15 live? he's in the land of cherry blossoms right now. are number 7 & 8 best friends? coincidentally, they are! :) do you like 6? minsan. pero pag sobrang ingay na, ayoko na. hehehe! 1

[May 07, 2006 8:53pm] [ mood | lazy ] [ music | turn your lights down low - bob marley ] ang gulo ng utak ko. gusto ko na magtrabaho pero minsan parang ayaw ko pa. i always think that if i start working already, ill miss out on a lot of things. sometimes i say to myself that i want to make the most out of my vacation before i start to work because once i become busy with work, it would be long before ill get to experience these things again like going out of town with friends or with karlo, with my family and stuff like that. meron pa kaming outing, sa quezon naman. after being with the h2 people for two days in batangas, i dont want to miss this one because i know ill be missing out on a lot of fun. anglaboooo. ayoko pa magtrabaho. pwedeng sa june nalang ioffer sa akin? pwede bang ganon? pero on the other hand, gusto ko nadin dahil nasisimot na banko ko. lecheeeee. --- nagpunta dito sa bahay kahapon yung tito ko. yung tito kong ayaw ng mommy ko kase mayabang daw. oo nga, mayabang. kaya ayoko din sana kausap yung kahapon pero may choice ba ako? ma: punta tito --- mo dito mamaya ha? ako: baket? (yung mukha ko hindi mapinta nung tinanong ko to) ma: ewan ko dun, ikkwento daw sayo si rhea. ako: wag na! di naman ako interesado malaman buhay ng anak niya sa eroplano. (take note: pinsan ko yun ha. napakagalang ko ba?) ma: e hayaan mo na magmayabang. dun siya masaya eh. ako: susmaryosep. so yun, my uncle came over with my aunt and cousin. they showed me pictures of my cousin and her stewardess friends. he was going on an on an on about how nice it would be for me if a applied there, the benefits, the allowances and all that shit. what part of no dont they understand? i mean, im convinced that i dont want to be in an airplane all my life. paranoid much? yes! at wala silang magagawa dun. mas makabubuti sakin yung wag nalang maging stewardess to save my life. mamamatay ako sa kaba palang pagsakay eh. i dont think ill be able to endure over 5 hours of plane ride over vast seas with no land to see ahead. i could just imagine what might happen. yes, thats how paranoid i am. sorry nalang kay mommy, yung 50% off niya sa travel just flew out the window.

[May 06, 2006 9:27am] i am now offically a graduate of UST.. because i got my diploma just yesterday. :) hehe. i wonder if it will ever fit into a frame because its just too big... ;p after school, we watched MI:3 with ged and wedj. i am no fan of action packed movies but this one changed that. tom cruise is heaven. no wonder katie holmes is head over heels in love with him. but he's a bit short though... it would be better if he was a bit more taller. hehehe. :) the movie was intense and at one point, i thought tom was going to die... just watch the movie. hehe :)

[April 29, 2006 10:36pm] as if to compensate for not being to go to galera, karlo and i decided to watch a movie. and silent hill was probably our worst choice of movie, next to house of 1000 corpses, except that i watched it with a different group of people, not with karlo. whoever thought of turning a playstation game into a movie? wrong move. there was no definite storyline. and the plot was confusing. just think: the lady was looking for her daughter who was "captured" by a demon and then she ends up standing up for the demons who almost burned her daughter to death? and for no apparent reason at all, they end up being dead themselves. ang gulo di ba? o baka mali lang pagkaintindi ko? a basta. i wouldve gotten the whole point of the story easily if the flow was more clear. dinner was next after the movie and we decided to go to MK. Mrs K was there, as always. hehe. each meal in MK is really worth it, solve pagkatapos kumain. ang sarap pa ng shake. hehe. yung nga lang, nagtaas sila ng p5 sa lahat ng items. hehe. umupo kami ni karlo sa corner wherein you could see all the people and cars that pass by. we were facing outside when suddenly, we heard a girl screaming as if she were in a fight with some. we looked where it came from and lo and behold, in front of us, there was a couple and the guy was the shaking the head of the girl, literally shaking and holding her by the hair and the girl slapped the guy loud enough for everyone to look at them. but the guard in MK did not even try to break them up even if he saw how the guy treated the girl. it was completely unacceptable. you could say that its my first time to witness a scene like this. it was not pleasant at all. buti nalang ako bumubugbog kay karlo. hahaha. joke lang. ;p

[April 29, 2006 9:47am] [ mood | optimistic ] in life, you have to make certain sacrifices. just like how i sacrificed my galera trip for an interview on Sunday with the f&b manager. and this put my indecisiveness to the test. things were all ready last night for my early morning trip to batangas with old friends. carme was supposed to pick me and karlo up here at home, pick up kathy after, then go to the terminal where ralph, kite, her boyfriend and her bf's friends will be waiting for us. everything was all laid out, until the outlet manager called me last night. he scheduled me for an interview on Sunday. what kind of person schedules an applicant for an interview on Sunday? a day which is supposedly a rest day for the bosses of hotels? thats crazy. i thought he was kidding. i called him up twice last night to confirm. i even tried to reschedule my interview to thursday since i wont be back from galera until wednesday night. but i later on, i figured that, this might be my chance and i cant afford ruin it, not now. so i made probably the wisest decision in my life not to proceed to galera. i figured, galera can wait, this interview can't. im still in the process of making carme understand my situation because this isnt the first time this kind of thing happened, me cancelling out on them the last minute. galit na yata sa akin yon. ayayay. i cant do anything about it. its not like i wanted for this to happen. i wanted so much to go with them since it would probably be my last out of town trip with them before all of us starts working. it would be difficult to plan something like this again when everybody becomes so busy already. oh well. i guess everything happens for a reason. i sure something good will come out of this. nakaka-frustrate lang. wrong timing lahat eh. pero sana, SANA, i get lucky. ill be crossing my fingers for this.

[April 26, 2006 1:11pm] [ mood | determined ] [ music | yellow - coldplay ] mga pinoy nga naman. pag sinabing 4 pm, 6 pm magsisimula. pag sinabing 10 am, 6 pm magsisimula. grabe. isa pa, alam kong i have no right to complain dahil applicant lang ako, pero wag nilang subukan pasensya ko at pag-antayin kami ng matagal sa interview. hindi lang naman sila ang iniintindi namin sa buong araw. ang panget ng impression na binigay nila sakin. anyway, yesterdays interview went quite well, i think. although they made us wait for 2 freakin' hours/ by the time i was already being interviewed, wala na ako sa mood mag-isip at sumagot ng matino. ewan ko tuloy if i got the job or dahil sa kabugnutan ko, i failed. again. pero ok lang. ang inooffer sakin guest services agent. its part of the front office but i dont get to really interact with the guests. so what will i be doing basically if i get the job? answer phonecalls of guests. hay nakoooo. e kung ganon naman pala, mag-c-call center nalang ako! triple pa pay ko. di ba? pero di nadin. i know how tempting the pay is pero applying in call centers is the last option on my list of priorities right now. if wala na talaga akong hope as in super kadooper hopeless ever na ko, cge lang, i might join the bandwagon. but for now, id have to wait and see if i get a job in one of the hotels i applied in. it pays to wait, di ba?

[April 25, 2006 1:02pm] [ mood | chipper ] last night was like high school all over again. icay, rino and i met up with karen and marla in starbucks morato. we were supposed to talk about our upcoming batch reunion. instead, we ended up talking about other things... things that are not supposed to be talked about, especially after four years, especially when our boyfriends are there to witness and hear eveything. hehe :) it was fun though. we talked about how pathetic we were in high school, how we were like tomboys who never feared anything or anyone (in short, bully. haha. joke lang). later on we realized how some people changed and how some did not. i laughed my ass off at kar's side comments and jokes... just like what i usually do in high school. some things really never change :) that girl's never lost her spunk and her who-cares attitude. we were being the loudmouths that we once were in high school and we were talking with each other as loud as we can that people nearby can really hear every word we were saying. both girls are two of my forever favorite persons. i just wish we could spend more time with each other. every meeting turns into a "gag show" which makes it really fun and exciting. :) i love them to bits and pieces. ;p 2

[April 23, 2006 11:52am] [ mood | aggravated ] a week of job hunting went by so fast. dusit called and i applied for the position of front office clerk/attendant. there were 7 of us they interviewed and they got only 3. myself not included. cguro mas gusto nila yung graduate ng mahal na school pero mukha namang mga abnormal. seriously. i dont get it. they settle for people who cant prove anything more than their stuffed pockets and twisted air-filled minds. and im not bitter. i just think they shouldve known better. its bullsh*t. frankly, i still dont have a clear idea of what career path to take. i wish to be a front office attendant but before pursuing that, i strongly believe that i need further training to enhance my english speaking skills and i cant think of any better way than to apply in a call center that will surely help me in doing that part. or to fulfill my dreams of becoming a world renowned pastry chef, i think i should enroll and have further studies in baking and pastry arts here or abroad. but to be able to achieve that, i should work first in order to save up for that which leads us back to me applying in a call cetner because of their attractive salary and benefits. God help me. i should get a headstart soon. --- a few nights a go, my guy and i were talking about jobs, the future and whatnot. while he already has a clear vision of what he wants to become in the next few years, im still stuck in limbo. can you blame me for wanting to experience a whole lot of other things which will opefully lead me to what i want to become? wala namang mali dun di ba? everything starts small. i cant actually find a job and desperately wish that they'll hire knowing that i dont have the qualifications they are looking for just yet. i need to work on those and to be able to achieve that, i need to start from the bottom up. i dont need people telling me whats best for me. i decide for myself. i dont let other people get in the way of what i want to do. all i need right now is support and encouragement. its just a little thing that i ask of them and if they cant do that, then i really dont need them in my life right now. i dont need them to dictate what i should or should not do. i want to do things on my own pace. i want to make my own decisions and prove to them that what i want to do is all worth it. oh god, somebody pull me out of this hole that im in.

[April 19, 2006 9:06pm] [ mood | pensive ] job hunting is not at all easy. the scorching heat of the sun doesnt make it easy at all. "do you have any experience working in a casino?" "none." "do you know to play any card games, or are there any tricks you might know in card games?" "none." "have you been in a casino?" "no." "do you play poker?" "no. to be honest, i dont even play cards, which therefore means i don't know any card games." no kidding. i dont think im ready for that yet. but what the heck, ill take whatever destiny throws me at this point. im getting restless. yesterday, i was there as early as 830 am. i took the test for an hour and they made us wait for 8 effin hours before they interviewed us. they didnt even bother to apologize for the delay or whatnot. nag-sorry sila 15 minutes before an hour before the office closes. talk about courtesy. today, karlo and i went job hunting around makati. we dropped by 6 different hotels and left our resumes. i hope to get a reply from one of them in the days to come. wish me luck people. we saw his friends at the mall after walking around makati for hours. it was refreshing to see people you know from school. summer's slowly beginning to get dragging. for the meantime, i have something to look forward to in the next two weeks... the beach baby, yeah! :)

[April 12, 2006 1:01pm] [ mood | high ] [ music | afterglow - INXS ] Thursday, April 6, 2006 - Graduation Day, PICC PLenary Hall Friday, Class Party, 4H2 we met up again in quattro for some pre-party drinks with the guys. ged, chino, cherry, chiong, mu, mark, jean were there. after a couple of hours and a few beers, we headed off to dreams, a bar owned by one of karlo's classmates. it was a night of pure fun until karlo's ex's boyfriend ruined it. i guess he just had to much to drink that's why he had the courage to come up to karlo and have a "talk" with him. i just dont see the purpose of him doing it. there's no point of doing it anyway since karlo and the girl are sooooo over already years ago. kasalanan ba ni karlo kung malandi yung girlfriend niya? panget kase siya eh. sorry siya. Saturday, Grad Party, East Ortigas Mansions its another one of those celebrations wherein the unexpected usually happens. i could say that the night didnt end so well as expected. people started showing their true colors which was really not good. other than that, i spent the rest of the evening with my closest friends. we slept over, has a few more friends over and talked until the wee hours of the morning. it was one of the few nights when we had only a couple of hours of sleep, but it was all worth it. :) Sunday, Stacey's Grad Dinner ive been eating out for three straight days now. i guess its a ood thing for me because i honestly think im underweight and am too thin it freaks me out. im sure losing weight wont be on my list anytime soon. we went home sunday morning after my party and that night, we were all out again to another one of our grad dinners. lugi kami sa buffet sa hina namin kumain. mahina na yun ng lagay na yun. we were taking pictures the whole time, we almost forgot about our food. we went to starbucks for some caffeine fix after dinner. i realized if these were all that we'd be doing everytime we meet up, ill never get tired of it. nothing beats spending precious time with people that matter to me most. i can totally see myself being with them when i get married, when we have our ow kids and our own kids will be friends as well, when we have grandkids, when we retire and all that sh*t. hehe. it sounds cheezy but its true. :) ill be with them and surpass everything far more than i would with any guy im with probably. :)

[April 11, 2006 1:58pm] [ mood | amused ] [ music | just feel better - santana feat steven tyler ] sawadhi-what? if there was one thing i realized during my trip to thailand is this: i don't want to be a flight attendant. no. not ever. during the flight, nothing kept me from being paranoid especially during turbulences caused by the bad weather going to thailand. it was not a smooth flight at all. i tried sleeping but it didn't work. instead, visions in my mind kept flashing and it was not good. so, im finally convinced that being a flight attendant is not for me at all. thank you lord. you just saved me from making one big mistake of wasting time and money applying for the position. sometimes, the little things that happen are those that make a big impact in your life and maybe change its course, just like this one. anyway, we went to bangkok for a four day tour. actually, it was more like a two day tour only. the first and last day was spent travelling to and from thailand. total waste of time. bangkok is much like Manila. if you just look at the people and not listen to them speak, you'd actually think that you're still in Manila. except that their taxis are cuter and nicer to ride in. their tricycles are not called such, instead they're also called taxes except that they're not air-conditioned. their motorcycles are called taxis for the reason that it renders that same service as those of the regular taxis, except that only one person could ride it. so, all in all, they have 3 kinds of taxis. thailand is not called the land of smiles for no reason at all. we went to chatuchak during the weekend and it was realllllly scorching hot. and there was no air circulating inside the shopping area. but still, the salespeople are still smiling. parang hindi sila napapagod at naiinitan. thai food are mostly spicy. i was never a fan of spicy food so i guess i didnt really experience eating actual thai food. all their condiments included chopped chilli, whole chilli, chilli sauce and the like. i only settled for those with no chilli althought i tried eating one with their signature chilli sauce and i didnt like it. we went to the temples but we didnt go to the elephant and crocodile show, and those were the ones i wanted to see. i guess when you travel with old people, they sometimes take away the fun of it all. we spent the nest two days shopping and when we were heading back to the airport during our last day, i realized two days are not enough for you to see all the shopping areas bangkok has to offer. wala pa sa 1/2 talaga. so, yun lang.

[March 31, 2006 1:49pm] [ mood | happy ] i just finished packing for tomorrow. my mom said not to bring too much clothes since i will most probably buy clothes there. i guess three sets of clothes is enough to last me 4 days in bangkok. hehe. im sooo excited and when i get, its graduation day for me!!! finally. my last pitstop in my college life. --- dramatics. so, last night was another one of those drinking sessions with the couples plus MU. ged and wedj was there, as well as chino and cherry (except that these two are not a couple...yet. haha!) got ourselves macho mugs. after all those drinking sessions in quattro, i never seem to finish 1 macho mug for myself. it always ends up being finished by karlo. bote lang kaya ko. at hard drinks. di ko matiis ang beer. hayep. pag hard drinks, after 5 shots, im done. thats already enough for me to get dizzy and puke after a few minutes of staring at the ceiling. somehow, we have already established quattro as our ultimate hang-out. we even swore that we would meet there every friday and after sweldo day when we start working. we have held countless inuman sessions there already i cant imagine us being in another bar, having drinks until the wee hours of the morning. it is also there that i found new friends and they're the people i mentioned above. i never thought that we'd get this far as going out, watching movies and drinking after. every session is not complete without chino's crazy antics and ged and wedj's uber-sweetness and i wish for more of that in the coming years. maybe ever after wedj and ged gets married and have children, chino and cherry finally being a couple, we'll still be able to do this, hopefully with a few more added friends of our own. i guess this is one thing in my college life that i will never forget. good times. good times.

hell-o [March 30, 2006 3:17pm] [ mood | bored ] finally i was able to decide whether to move or not. i was previously using blogger. but then i can't seem to keep unwanted readers from reading my entries. so i decided to move here in lj. i can now control who can or cannot read what i write here. hehehe. :) i was browing through premade ljs and was able to choose some and tried to use it on mine. but i cant seem to figure out how it should turn out even after all the tweaking and stuff. oh well, ill just stick to the basic layout since its much easier to use. moving on... its been almost a month since i declared myself as part of the unemployed workforce here in our country... and its been a month since i started thinking about whether i should stick to what my parents suggested or stay here for good in the phils and find a job which is not defenitely easy compared to the states, where i'm sure that i have something waiting for me when i get there. ayos lang naman eh, kung ako tatanungin. its just that, its not too easy to leave people i love behind. sure, i have relatives abroad but its much different than having my friends and family beside me. i start to imagine how things'll be like for me there. and its not as easy as it seems. but for the meantime, ill try to find my nitch here and when i do (give me 3 years), i might just go there and do whatever. oh well. anyhoo... ill be going out of the country in three days with family. that should take my mind off of all the thinking ive been doing because its already driving me nuts... peace.

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